one small step

I can't explain how unsettled I felt after writing that last post...and the whole time leading up to it. And the unsettled-ness I felt after writing it was so intense I almost physically felt like I couldn't sit still! I know that part of this was conviction. God has gotten ahold of my heart this past month in a new and intense way, and He is DEFINITELY NOT going to let me sit around and do nothing!

So, in all my unsettlement, I prayed. I prayed for an opportunity, and I prayed that God would not let me get caught up in emotion, but that He would give me an idea. An idea that would show the love of Jesus to the people that God's heart beats for...to the precious and desperate people for which He is beginning to sensitize my heart. And, as many of us experience, I woke up in the middle of the night a week ago with an idea. One small idea. But I prayed about it, and was getting so fired up about it that it was hard for me to fall back asleep. When I woke up in the morning, I prayed some more and the more excited I got the more I knew that this was worth a try...

So, here it is: I've found that shoe boxes are useful for more than carrying shoes :) Especially when we have all been surrounded by the devastating pictures of the earthquake that hit Haiti and changed the world. I couldn't ignore the precious pictures of mothers being united with their babies after being trapped under rubble for days. And I also couldn't ignore the rising death toll or the pictures of wounded and dirty people with hopelessness in their eyes and desperation engraved on their faces.

This was a door wide open that God was leading me directly through. So, with the help of my mom, I found a shoe box, then I wrapped it with white paper and adorned it with pictures of Haiti...good and bad. I cut a hole in the top of it, and realized that, though I can't run, I'm still a part of my team. The CSU track and field team. A group of people who have been blessed beyond belief, whether they realize it or not. We are a group of people that have more than we need, and we can work together as the team that we are to do something for people who have absolutely nothing- people with no hope in sight.

Ephesians 3:20 ("Now ALL glory to God, who is able, through His MIGHTY POWER at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think...") reminds me that God can do the impossible. And I truly believe that if God works through my team, and tugs on their hearts as He continues to push on mine, that this shoe box could become full of hope for the people of Haiti.

So, the next day, I called people from Food for the Hungry. They're going to have a direct giving fund to Haiti for as long as the people there need help; and when we're honest, that is going to be a LONG time. Another open door. Then I talked to my coaches that afternoon and asked them if they would be in for the idea. At first, I honestly couldn't read their emotion, but it was the first day back from a long break and it is definitely something we have never done as a team before. But, as I talked to them more about specifics, they became more enthusiastic and were willing to help me come up with ideas as to how to keep the box safe and how to write the final check. Yet another incredibly open door!

On Wednesday last week, I presented the idea to my entire track team. Before I did, I had a chance to just walk and pray. I prayed that the words I said would be God's words. That He would speak to the hearts of my teammates and do what He alone could do. So next thing I knew, I was up in front of the whole team, challenging all of us, including myself and the coaches to put extra change, extra money from going on competition trips, and other cash into this box. We all understand that there just isn't a lot of "extra" for any of us today. But we also understand (because it is blazingly obvious) that Haiti has NOTHING, no way of even defining what "extra" is. I can't even remember exactly what I said. But it was an amazing thing to just allow God to use my mouth to speak His heart. I was so humbled by the response of my teammates!! I asked at the end of my talk, "Are you guys in for this?" , and everyone began to say yes, nodding heads, and clapping. Coach Cawley ran up and put a $5 bill in the box, and everyone began to cheer! It was absolutely incredible! It was ALL God! I was just so blessed to be a part of it!

The box will be in our training room throughout the indoor season (which ends at the end of February). This is in about 5 weeks, and if it is God's plan and He is willing, that box will get full. But even if it comes out with only $60 in it, I know it will not be a waste. There is no telling what God is doing in the hearts of my coaches and teammates. And, let us not forget the promise of God's immeasurable power! He really can do anything, and He will use everything we give Him! Even our last penny brings joy to His heart.

I'm challenged again in writing this post. And I will update on how this shoe-box thing ends. But right now I'm just going to pray that God will continue to open doors, and that He will just do what He does best... Loving without limits. Loving inclusively. Loving all people with real, raw, heart-changing, life-changing, joyous and perfectly generous love. In other words, I pray that God will continue to do the impossible...

"An infinite God can give all of Himself to each of His children. He does not distribute Himself that each may have a part, but to each one He gives all of Himself as fully as if there were no others." -A.W. Tozer

"We can do no great thing, only small things with great love." -Mother Teresa