But perhaps what I love most about them is the down-to-earth, rock-solid truth they put into their songs. Their lyrics are genius, and they write with hearts that are passionate about following Jesus. God has had a lot to say to me through the words of songs by this band, but the most recent one influenced what I named my blog. It is simply called "Shadows" and the words go like this...
"Life is full of light and shadow
All the joy, All the sorrow
All the sorrow
And yet will he bring
dark to light,
And yet will he bring
day from night
When shadows fall on us
We will not fear
We will remember
When darkness falls on us
We will remember
When all seems lost
When we're thrown and we're tossed
We remember the cost
We rest in Him,
Shadow of the cross."
These words are so powerful. And the incredible thing is God's timing in showing them to me. I had just heard a message on having faith that is completely independent of my circumstances. No matter what is going on around me, no matter what is crashing in on me, no matter how discouraged I feel at the end of every day, God is always there. He has already given His all for me. He has already shown me how much He loves me. He loves me in a strange and unreal way...a way that I can't see displayed in any other example in my life. It is so great. Maybe one of the best descriptions of His love comes from words in another song..."He loves like a hurricane, and I am a tree, bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy..." He gave everything He had for me, and so He will not hold anything back. He gives grace and mercy that is always sufficient.
Just like this song says...when I feel shadows fall on me, I don't need to fear. When I'm feeling tossed and thrown, I can rest in the memory of what Jesus did for me on the cross, knowing that He saves me like that in every moment of every day. In this truth, I can have joy. I can lean on a God who is full of mercy, who gives me strength to get up every morning and take in the beauty of His promises in the sunrise, feeling His refreshing grace in the cool breeze that hits my face. No matter what is going on, all of these characteristics of God remain.
I am fully aware that the discouragement and frustrations I am facing right now are nothing compared to the reality of fear that others deal with every day. But I also know that I understand the true joy that comes from knowing Jesus in a much more real way. Constant pain and the questions and doubt that accompany that pain made themselves at home in the last year of my life. But I can say without a doubt that I am thankful to have a God that fights for me, that stands guard at the door of my heart to let in only what He knows I can handle. He is always faithful, and never once have I been crushed. I may have felt like I would be, but every morning, I wake up. And every morning He gives me the choice to see His beauty.
God is real. And He doesn't really give me the choice to believe otherwise. He is everywhere around me. Even in the shadows. Because it is in the shadows of pain where I can remember HIS shadow of pain: the cross. And it is through the cross that He has painted me the most beautiful picture of the strongest demonstration of love, grace, mercy, power, and strength...
I will keep trusting. And waiting. And knowing that God is bigger than my discouragement and stronger than my fear.
Paul had it together quite a bit more than I do...but his response to difficulty (in a way that I cannot even begin to define) is a constant challenge to me. In weakness, we can't be prideful. In weakness, we realize our disparity; our depravity is obvious when we are stuck on our knees. In weakness, we realize that our deepest need can only be satisfied by Jesus, and through Him, strength takes the shape leaning as hard as we can into the God.
"My grace is enough; it's all you need. My strength comes into its own in your weakness. Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ's strength moving in on my weakness. Now I take limitations in stride, and with good cheer, these limitations that cut me down to size—abuse, accidents, opposition, bad breaks. I just let Christ take over! And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become." -2 Corinthians 12:9-10
